3 Keys to Life After Divorce

life after divorce

Divorce can leave you feeling down and dazed, wondering what happened and how you can possibly move on.  While it might seem impossible in the beginning, you will eventually find your footing and take small but courageous steps into the new life you’ll create for yourself and your family.  Following are a few tips to help you on your journey.

1. Practice an Attitude of Gratitude.  To quote Lisa Arends, “When gratitude is your wrapping paper, everything is a gift.”  This shift in perception can help you to overcome the pain and injustices of the past and bring you to a place of peace in the present.  Are you grateful to your ex for the children you created?  Are you grateful for your marriage because it allowed you to grow in new ways?  Are you grateful for the device you’re using to read this article?  When you find yourself thankful for even the simplest things, you’ll find yourself inching forward.

2. Create a Vision Board.  Imagine your life in the future.  Where do you live?  Where do you vacation?  What clothes do you wear?  What car do you drive?  Bring this vision to life by cutting images out of old magazines or printing them off the internet and posting them somewhere that you’ll see them on a regular basis.  You could make separate boards for different areas of your life, or make a collage of everything together.  Let this vision guide you in your everyday choices.

3. Start New Traditions.  When a family evolves, many time-honored traditions are lost in the process.  What will you do on Saturday mornings if Dad isn’t there to make his signature waffles?  How will you spend the holidays, or the time around the holidays if you and the kids won’t be together on specific dates?  This process can be especially fun and meaningful for children, so be sure to let them help brainstorm new ideas.  And don’t be afraid to step outside the box and celebrate the uniqueness of your family.  Perhaps you’ll decide Thanksgiving dinner should now consist of spaghetti and homemade ice cream.

Remember:  you’re creating a new life, not simply filling holes in the old one.  Be grateful, be bold, be you… and make it magnificent!

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About Tara Eisenhard

Tara Eisenhard believes that families should evolve, not dissolve, through the divorce process. She is the author of The D-Word: Divorce Through a Child’s Eyes and the blog, Relative Evolutions. For more information, visit www.taraeisenhard.com.

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