4 Tips Dealing Family Dynamics!

family dynamics

Like attracts like. Attitudes are contagious. If family dynamics are a problem, what’s your participation?
The status quo is not always what’s best. While change may be uncomfortable, we can shift from drama by practicing some new thoughts and behaviors.

Family provides a great vehicle for personal growth because there is always contrast among its members to be considered.

1. Drop the Dread
Are you feeling like a victim of circumstances and the behavior of others? Are you feeling lethargic, as if you will never win, so why try? Is your energy low regarding family matters and members?
This kind of thinking and feeling will eventually allow others to win and take away meaning and purpose in your life.
Vent. Catch a friend’s ear. Get help from a professional, if possible. Begin to make sense of how you have allowed others to control your own happiness and personal power. Hold the intention of creating a solution for becoming a winner of your own life, not in comparison to others.

2.  Calm the Conflict
Do you live with struggle and defensiveness? Do you experience antagonism, resistance, frustration, or defiance? Do you view things as black or white, good or bad?

Using force, control, or coercion keeps your focus on “What’s wrong”, and “Who is to blame”. While this method can get results, it eventually drains you and those around you because it does not encourage accountability or cooperation.

Look for common ground. What can you connect on that is important to both yourself and another? Allow for others to be themselves. Who else can they be? Rationalize. Find a better feeling thought about them, a way to let go of blame, or just make up an explanation that doesn’t anger you as much. Can you allow them to have a win, too?

3.  Raise your Responsiveness
Are you holding yourself back from your fullness because someone else doesn’t deserve it or appreciate it? Are you feeling resentful, disappointed, burdened by doing too much? Do you engage in the “silent treatment”?

What you think and feel is entirely up to you, and not dependent upon or under the control of others. Don’t take things personally. Decide what kind of person you want to be and act that way, but not defensively.

When you do serve others, do so for your own satisfaction, not to fix them or to be a self-important martyr. Help and nurture with compassion, not control.

4.  Find the Treasure
Use the contrast that family members provide as a laboratory for improving yourself. Decide who you want to be in relation to others. When you do, watch the dynamics that used to bother you have less of an impact. The family has provided the resistance against which to strengthen your muscles and become a stronger person!

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About Bev Borton

Bev Borton has spent decades helping people surpass what they only thought were their limits. Dedicated to self-development, she partners with people to transform their lives into the happier, more fulfilled versions they desire. With extensive training and years as a professional life and business coach, she guides her clients through a comfortable process of conversation and discovery that leads to their clear thinking, positive actions and sustainable results. What sets her apart is her ability to help clients develop their best inner energy and attitude for the ultimate success- one that is unique to each person.

2 thoughts on “4 Tips Dealing Family Dynamics!

  1. pspaulasusan

    This is outstanding advice. Thank you for taking the time to create such a clear message. I often advise my clients to be aware of how they want to show up in the world. You did it so well!

  2. Bev Borton

    Your comment is appreciated. It can be a challenge to write concisely and yet keep the message clear. I often think there is no real success in life, just a series of impeccable moments. We can each aspire to at least a string of them.


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