Letter To You, From Your Pain

New Year

Dear Human Being,
Thank you for allowing me as your guest.

I see you suffer when I’m in your house of emotional stability, happiness and well-being.

My visit is because I truly care about your happiness and would like to motivate and guide you through some of the fears and insecurities which many years ago developed in you due to overwhelming relationship dynamics and circumstances.

Do you recall your sense of helplessness and distress during the time your family relocated across many states?
You felt sad to leave your friends, face an unfamiliar academic environment in your new school, and have no reliable friends in this new setting.
Well, I am your pain and insecurity from those years and recall my position in your life.

Your sensitive nature along with your parents’ unhappiness within themselves left you completely on your own both academically and socially to succeed while feeling fragile.

My wish for you is to dissolve the relationship patterns built from this pain, to feel enthusiasm instead of distress from meeting new people, and recognize your fascinating characteristics!

Also, do you remember believing your then future husband appreciated and would be an equal partner with you?
Then gradually over the years you realized he appreciated your strong work capacity to keep an organized household and that your essential nature didn’t make a difference to him?

Each relationship is a new story.
I hope you will accept me as your motivator to search for the truth of who you really are and what is reasonable to expect of yourself in relation to another.
Those many years of unhappiness and self-inhibiting defensive behaviors felt necessary at a time you weren’t quite able to recognize your own inner beauty.

I gradually grew bigger while patiently waiting for you to clearly understand me.
I’m glad for the life lessons you achieved by finding your way to your truth.

As your guest my job is to store injustice and unfairness someone willingly tolerates until someone senses their own goodness and that certain relationship dynamics and circumstances are plain wrong.

I’m sure you’ll be glad when I’m gone, and congratulations on successfully removing me from your life.

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About Sherry Katz

Sherry Katz, LCSW is primarily a couples therapist who counsels partners and individuals of all adult ages, in relieving tension and unhappiness in their relationships. The spectrum of care in her practice includes recuperating from infidelity, clarifying and strengthening trust and communication, restoring and developing common ground for a relationship. Ms. Katz has a secondary practice interest in helping family members align themselves in response to caring for elderly parents, especially a parent who has Alzheimer's Disease.Old Stories, New Views Family Therapy

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