by Sheila Brennan~Last Saturday night, I was headed to a party around 6:45 pm when I saw a man walking his dog with a cell phone suspiciously held to his ear. He was having an animated conversation and seemed to be all smiles!
I immediately thought he must be having an affair! Is it me? So a guy on his phone on a Saturday night having an enthusiastic conversation could only be talking to a lover!
I considered other possible connections on the other end. And every time, I came to the same conclusion. Lover. You’re right, it might be his hilarious buddy. It was Saturday night that convinced me.
There are some definite signs that your spouse may be having an affair. Don’t jump to any conclusions quickly. But these are the five behaviors That are obvious:
- He suddenly has an interest in dog’s exercise. Your spouse has never been very interested in walking the dog but now he offers every night. When you ask if you can tag along, you recognize that face which means he’d rather if you didn’t.
- You can never find the cell phone. Like the remote control, it’s always missing – all the time. And you’re not sure where it is when she’s in the shower. If you do find the phone, the passcode has been changed from what you knew it to be. The cell phone becomes more important than any other possession.
- If you say anything about her behavior, she suggests you get over it and you’re going crazy, or you’re jealous, they’re just friends, it’s a work relationship, haven’t you ever heard of a “work husband”, etc. But deep down you know something is not right.
- He won’t plan a vacation with you because he says your relationship is too tenuous and that maybe you and the kids should go away for spring break, plan 4th of July with friends, rent a summer place for a week with your mother and sister, etc. You agree that your relationship has been on shaky ground for a while. So you go alone or with the kids.
- She starts to pick at you and now it’s obvious that you can’t do anything right. You can’t load the dishwasher, clear the table, pick up the dry cleaning, negotiate with your boss, hang your bath towel, without hearing about how you are purposely trying to upset her. You don’t care about her anymore or you would do things the right way. And there is a right way to hang your towel on the hook.
If you find your spouse exhibiting one or more of these behaviors, try not to get swept up in the chaos of an affair will wreck a home. Avoid fighting with your spouse if you’re able. Seek shelter preferably with a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. It isn’t easy to be honest about an affair but if you think your spouse may be having a relationship with someone, do your best to maintain your sanity while everything around you is swirling. You’ll be thankful you did.