After Holiday Blues

holiday blues

The tree, the packages, the wrappings, the dishes that still need to be put away, and the people gone. Gone with them are the recent memories created. Gone with them, the times and the ghosts of those kept alive by the stories. Not gone is the sadness of those who were not alive to share with you.

And then there are those still left – your partner, your children, perhaps a parent living with you or deteriorating in a nursing home. You look around and know that you too are aging. Some day you will be gone. The years seem to fly by. And, upon reflection you recognize your own unhappiness.

Where was the promise of your marriage? Where is the love that was supposed to last through your lifetime, providing you support, companionship, caring? To have come so far in life and not be enjoying the present, the future looks pretty dreary.

What to do? Make a commitment to yourself to make some big changes. It doesn’t mean you end your relationship, nor buy a new house. It means find a way to enliven your relationship, find out what your partner is missing. If you are not happy, it’s a good guess that your partner isn’t either.

Speak up – kindly. Ask for what you need and want while you are finding out what your partner is needing and wanting, too. It’s time to rekindle or to rethink your life plans.

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About Paula Susan

Paula Susan, MSW, LCSW, Masters in Clinical Social Work & Psychology; specialist in Trauma and Relationships since 1982. In 1991, I integrated the powerfully transformative process of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Research demonstrates that it facilitates life-altering changes more efficiently and effectively than talk therapy alone. I teach skills such as communication and anxiety relief to improve connection with others. Over the decades, I’ve come to respect how much damage even small traumatic experiences inflict on our core beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. I consider it a privilege to help my clients understand and change what has undermined their happiness and their relationships. I do it with warmth, integrity, humor, and profound respect for those who care about the quality of this small piece of time we have on

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