Consider this…You want to get divorced. For every other significant transition in life, a thoughtful plan is recommended, some more extensive than others. But nothing is done without a plan. Too risky without one!
- College…12 years of school
- Yoga teacher certification…200 hours of classroom & practice
- Pilot training…specified hours of instruction and 100 flying hours
- Marathon…train/run for hundreds of miles
- Juris Doctorate…3 years of intense studying and writing
- Weddings…20 months of decisions
- First house…8 months of researching and visits
- Pregnancy…40 weeks of growing and developing
- Childbirth…8 hours of classroom time for an event that’s predicted to take 18 hours of your life
- Home renovation…12 months of researching
- Sell a house…months of cleaning out, organizing, donating, staging
- College education…18 years of savings
- Retirement…lifetime of strategizing and investing
- Divorce?…meet with an attorney and retain their services, usually with little or no plan!
Yet, when people talk about divorce, most say they want to get divorced as quickly as possible and put an end to the misery. That’s not the best PLAN!!
Divorce Prep School had its inaugural meeting in January and was attended by a select group. After introductions and sharing our stories, we learned about divorce from another angle. We talked about different options available to obtaining a divorce, from kitchen table discussions to full on court room drama, also known as litigation.
The second class involved a family law attorney. He gave user friendly definitions to the legal language and explained it in every day terms – for the most part! 😊 Mutterings in the room were heard. “Wow, I could use this information in other areas of my life.” “I didn’t know I could do it that way.” “I didn’t know I should ask the attorney so many questions.” Huge light bulb moments for those present. It was empowering! The opportunity to listen to the attorney speak for 1.5 hours (normal rate is $380/hour!) was a true bargain for the $40 class enrollment!
Divorce is a long, arduous process. It’s the end of a contract, a partnership, the business of running your life as it was. Treat it as such and learn everything you can. Do the prep work, be the educated consumer, DIY as much as possible. You’ll feel stronger in meetings, in court (if necessary), at the table with your spouse. Educating yourself will give you the confidence to do some of the work yourself as well as regain control of your life. Confidence is something you can earn! Earn it!