Be Gentle With Yourself When Life Obstacles Meet You


The most typical reactions when blocked from continuing a work or relationship path on which we are happy, are fear, hurt, and self-doubt.

“How do I get overcome what was strong enough to stop me from continuing the way I was gladly living?”

“What if I’m not able to regain my footing where I would like it to be?”

“Did I do something wrong to be knocked off my road?”

“Maybe I don’t deserve the way I define happiness and success”.

These and similar questions based in what may seem like a sudden sense of insecurity, pop up within anyone who is aware of themselves, genuinely invests themselves in living and cares about other people.

Let’s work these inner questions along one specific and relatively simple relationship dynamic.

From the perspective that life’s purpose is to learn lessons of who we are and to develop new approaches to tense and frustrating circumstances and situations, the positive news of feeling greatly blocked, is to recognize this as your chance to see with fresh eyes!

Of course the only way to reach new awareness is through the work of once again feeling painful emotions.

By considering the above questions as an indicator of your readiness to see and handle yourself differently, they each become introspective guidance, not a roadway to condemnation or a edict to accept horrible dynamics in our lives.

Say my partner continuously blames me for “everything” wrong in our relationship and doesn’t realize both people are responsible in some way for our relationship quality.

If I usually respond by searching how to fix “everything”, and instead I examine the facts of my actions and intentions, my conclusions will likely be very different than assuming I am the only accountable person.

Similar changes are likely regarding self-doubts as to deserving a reasonably happy and secure life.

If you are conditioned to accept blame for most of the stress between yourself and another, then the pile up of responsibility for many matters which aren’t in your hands eventually crushes the sense that life will ever offer you any happiness.

In conclusion, the effort to examine the details of painful emotions in order to see the logic which drives them, is worthwhile.

During this process, separate the emotions you feel about doing this search from the unfairly placed, painful emotions you are examining.

Search gently and in kindness to yourself!

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About Sherry Katz

Sherry Katz, LCSW is primarily a couples therapist who counsels partners and individuals of all adult ages, in relieving tension and unhappiness in their relationships. The spectrum of care in her practice includes recuperating from infidelity, clarifying and strengthening trust and communication, restoring and developing common ground for a relationship. Ms. Katz has a secondary practice interest in helping family members align themselves in response to caring for elderly parents, especially a parent who has Alzheimer's Disease.Old Stories, New Views Family Therapy

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