Key to a Balanced Heart

balanced heart

What is a balanced heart and how would you know if you have one?

A balanced heart is one in which self love and acceptance is primary and always active in maintaining, strengthening and deepening, your relationship.

“How is this possible”? I was taught to believe that loving another means self-sacrifice.
I always assumed that if I invest my full emotions into another person, then that person would give similarly to me.

I thought that assuring my partner’s happiness would bring me my greatest relationship satisfaction.”

Reflect carefully on the logic of our imaginary speaker.

According to this person, by giving as much as possible to another, the person will be receiving similar generosity from the beloved. The concept expressed is beautiful! And there is no necessary reality to this notion. Giving does not mean receiving. Giving is not an exchange program.

In fact, very often, one partner is generous, and assumes reciprocity from the other. This person sometimes is easily tricked by someone who states or pretends they will fulfill this assumption and give back, while in fact only take what is offered.

The only true guide as to how much love to give, is how YOU will feel by giving your love! The best guarantee that you will not go overboard with enthusiastic wishes and generosity in offering your love to someone, are these two points.

  1. Have a clear idea of who you are.
  2. Appreciate, value and love who you are.

Lots of people do not have the first, and/or have not yet reached the phase in their lives of being able to complete the second suggestion.

If you are living according to my two suggestions, then the person whom you choose to love, will most likely love getting your love. Then, very naturally, they will do as you have just done and offer their love to you

Why?

Because once you are aware of your own love toward yourself, you will only choose partners who are good ones for you. Remember, self-love means ensuring that how you interact and what you allow into your own life will benefit you.

So, if and when you feel ready to offer your love to someone, look inward first, on whether you have learned to love who you are.

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About Sherry Katz

Sherry Katz, LCSW is primarily a couples therapist who counsels partners and individuals of all adult ages, in relieving tension and unhappiness in their relationships. The spectrum of care in her practice includes recuperating from infidelity, clarifying and strengthening trust and communication, restoring and developing common ground for a relationship. Ms. Katz has a secondary practice interest in helping family members align themselves in response to caring for elderly parents, especially a parent who has Alzheimer's Disease.Old Stories, New Views Family Therapy

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