Newly Divorced or Separated this Holiday Season?


How to Survive and Thrive

Recommendations overflow during the holiday season for people who are separated, divorced, without family. There are a few good ones and most that leave you feeling flat. Volunteer is one of those that flatten. Having survived many years, these are successful solutions:
Pick something to do that will make you happy. Do you love to sleep late, watch old movies, catch up on a series that you haven’t had time for? Find out what will make you feel best and simply do it!
Try desperately not to feel sorry for yourself. I know sometimes it’s an enormous challenge. Have a brief pity party for yourself – go ahead – and then remember there are always families and people in worse predicaments.
Remember that the sun will set, the day will end and the day you so dreaded will be over. The sun will rise and tomorrow will be here. There isn’t any recovery time. This is one time that you’ll know you’ll feel better in the morning.
Find someone else in your situation and plan a party. It can be as simple as meeting for coffee in the morning. You only need one other person to have a party. Try to find someone who cheers you up even if she’s having a tough go of it too.
Do something different! One year, I met a couple of friends at a local church that was hosting bell ringers. I assumed I wouldn’t see familiar families and couples. I was in the midst of total strangers who knew nothing about me. That was a bonus. As an anonymous observer, I felt empowered. Someone asked me if I planned that every year. Not at all – I had just found it on line that morning. I knew it was the perfect alternative for me. And I left there feeling less alone. It was the perfect remedy to an empty heart.
In a nutshell, PLAN SOMETHING!! You’ll feel much better if you do something and take control of the day and not let your emotions get the better of you. If, however, you’re not successful, there’s always next year and you have the next 12 months to plan!


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About Sheila Brennan

There are few events in one’s life that impact you financially, socially, emotionally and legally. Effective communication and negotiation skills are imperative to a good outcome. Sheila Brennan, Divorce Coach, serves as your guide and advocate through the divorce process. Take complete ownership - this is your divorce!

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