by Dr. Vicki Handfield~Sometimes we all have really bad moods, right?
These are times of feeling rotten, frustrated for no reason we can figure out. Feeling down on yourself, reluctant to do the things that might help you feel better? Ready for a fight with someone, but you know your issue really isn’t with that person?
Have you ever noticed that a mood like this sometimes follows a really good mood? Hmmm….
Even if that’s not the case, what can you do about it?
First and foremost, be kind to yourself. Stop berating yourself. Look for real, true things you can remind yourself about that are positives about you. Write it down. “I am a good person”. “I try my hardest a lot of the time”. “I’ve been successful in some meaningful projects”. “I’m not a criminal or a pedophile or a murderer and I do my laundry”. “I do usually pay my bills”. “Even if I can’t pay my bills, I’m a good person”. ”I’m usually honest and truthful”. See? These statements are not signs of perfection, they are down-to-earth, real and true statements that are positive.
Write these things down, and others as they come to you, repeatedly. Say them out loud when you’re by yourself, in your car, wherever you might be where you feel private. If you’re lacking any times of privacy, that might be an issue you want to address when you feel better.
Whatever your issues are, whatever you may discover is a source – leave it alone for the time being! If you try to plunge into it by yourself, it’s likely to get worse. Why? Because you’ll probably continue to beat yourself up over it. When the piss-poor mood passes, and you feel a lot better, that’s a much more productive time to do some delving. One of my clients once told me she didn’t want to do any “dwelving” (combining the words ‘dwelling’ and ‘delving’) while she was feeling badly – I think it was a wise choice!
The main things to do when you’re feeling really crummy are: distract yourself, say no to the mean things you’re saying and doing to YOU. If you can’t move into the positive, aim for neutral. Make it ok to just have a lousy mood, we all do and they do pass. We just want them to pass sooner rather than later. Put it in the category of being human, rather than being mean about it. We often say we are being crazy, stupid, lazy, etc., etc., etc.!!!
If you can, choose to do things that will help you feel better, things other than eating a lot, drinking too much, you get my drift. Small things like taking a walk outside if it’s nice out, sitting and looking, not staring, outside if it’s not that nice – just looking at nature often helps. Most of us are too busy rushing here and there to see the clouds, the sun, the trees and birds. Taking a bath can help too, but with good distractions like music and magazines; bath oils and salts help your skin and your mood as well. Making plans for vacations are good to do when you feel better; we make better choices when moods are positive.
Talking with others can help too, but often other people don’t really understand what we’re feeling and trying to explain it doesn’t help if they don’t get it. Make sure you begin to talk with someone you absolutely know will try really hard to get it; even if they don’t, it will help to know they tried. But, if they don’t try, you could feel worse, so think that one over carefully before you start.
I hope your crummy moods pass by quickly, maybe a little quicker with these ideas! Maybe learning a little more about what’s going on will happen for you too, hope so!