When is it Time for a Change?


They say change is difficult and something that we inherently resist.

As a Professional Family Mediator, FamilyAffaires.com Community Advocate, Roseann Vanella often has people reach out to her for advice. The most common question she hears is , “When do you know it’s time”?  This may implicate, when is it time to get divorced, when is it time to retire, when is it time to make decisions for my aging parents or even when is it time to pull the plug of a dying loved one. This question can relate to so much in all of our lives.

FamilyAffaires.com, Expert Contributor, Dr. Dan Gottlieb, shares his wisdom and his own personal experiences.  If we think about infants, they some how know when it’s time to let go of a chair and walk. Most will even know when it’s time to potty train.  It must be intuition, possibly that they feel safe to “let go”.

As we get older we allow all of this noise in our brain which makes us stop acting on intuition and feeling and instead resist what we’re feeling.  As Dr.Gottlieb tells his own personal story of his decision recently to stop driving.  He says he had been struggling with the decision for 3 years and finally he made the decision. Making the decision brought him a sense of piece. Should he had made that decision earlier, perhaps, but he had to do it when he felt ready.

Dr. Gottlieb reminds us once again to “trust the message coming for our gut and heart”, it’s always right!

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About Dan Gottlieb

Dr. Dan Gottlieb has been practicing psychology since 1969.Since 1985, Daniel Gottlieb has been hosting “Voices in the Family,” an award-winning mental health call-in radio show aired on WHYY 90.9 FM, Philadelphia’s local public radio station. He has also previously published a total of four books. His most recent, “The Wisdom of Sam: Observations on Life from an Uncommon Child,”. In it, Dan tells of some of the remarkable insights shared by his grandson Sam who is on the autism spectrum. All of his royalties are donated to children’s charities. Dan is also a contributor to the Dana & Christopher Reeves Foundation.

One thought on “When is it Time for a Change?

  1. Andrew Wielawski

    Changes can be difficult, or can be viewed with a sense of excitement that makes them easier to put into action. When is it time to stop driving? This is a decision that will be much easier if the alternatives are laid on the table, and perhaps tried out to see what happens. For an older person who remembers 40 cent gasoline, humor about how much money they’re saving is helpful. A sense of adventure in solving a new type of problem can be therapeutic as well, and once done, may be a source of satisfaction and give a sense of accomplishment.


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